Lots of people consider their wedding day to be one of the most important events in their life. With the big celebration only a few months from now, you and your fiancé will be planning everything from the wedding gown, food packages, to the main event.
So, picture this: everything was going smoothly. You have agreed with your fiance that the vow-taking will occur at the beach. But suddenly, your mother-in-law enters the picture and insists that you do the wedding in the church. She wants to be involved in all your pre-wedding events too, even after you have made it clear that you want to use the bachelorette party to make time and bond with your closest friends. Your mother-in-law is one whom you can term as a strong-minded woman. If placed in the right situation, this could be an admirable quality. But as a bride, you consider decisions regarding your wedding to be somewhat personal, and thus you want them to be entirely your own.
As much as you aspire to maintain a positive relationship with your soon-to-be mother-in-law, you also do not want to give in to her wishes. That being said, here are some things that you can do.
Let your fiance know all about it
If you’re lucky, he would agree with you immediately - no fuss, no questions asked. However, there is a more significant possibility your fiance would be siding with your mom. If that is the case, then you can try to make him understand the situation. Regardless of her being your boyfriend’s mother who has taken care of your fiance from childhood up to now, as an adult the groom has to start making independent decisions. Regarding events as solemn as your wedding day, you need to have the freedom to decide on your own.
Place Yourself in Your Mother-in-Law’s Shoes
Before talking about it with your fiance, you to put yourself in your future mother-in-law's shoes. Planning and decision-making is not the only thing that matters in your wedding. Emotions also play a part, especially on the side of the parent. Every mom has waited for the day that his son would march up the altar to say his vows to the woman he wishes to marry. With that, as much as your wedding is important to you, it also matters a great deal to your groom’s parents. Even if you have other ideas in mind, you may want to consider giving your mother-in-law some say in the wedding decisions. Doing so will help you build a bond with her, which can significantly benefit you in the future
Confront Your Mother-in-Law of Your Concern
No Mother would purposely do things that can reduce the quality of his son's wedding. That being said, you can be assured that if your mother-in-law is stepping beyond her bounds, she is doing it in the belief that it is what is best for the both of you. However, if you don’t welcome or if you are not comfortable with her concern, then you can politely tell her upfront.
Don’t take her meddling as a personal issue. Understand her situation, and if it is still not working out, you can tell her. However, it is vital that you don’t push it to the point that your relationship with her is injured.
It is normal for any bride to want to take her wedding choices into her own hands, but remember that you will be spending a lot of time with your fiance’s mother before and after the wedding. With that, you need to take pre-meditated steps if she decides to offer alternatives.