How to make your flower girls and bearers walk for the wedding march? That is one of the questions a lot of couples usually asks when planning for a wedding, especially if the flower girls and wedding bearers are just toddlers not older than 3-years-old. Even if the couple is having someone a little older as their bearer and flower girl, the scenario of walking down the aisle in front of a lot of people looking at them can be intimidating, especially when the kids are actually at the ceremony already.
Having a lot of people staring at them all at once can be a scary feeling for any kid involved. So if this happens it is vital that the coordinators would know what to do so the ceremony can proceed without any delays or problems. This article will be discussing some steps that the couple and the coordinators can do when the flower girl and wedding bearers suddenly freeze up during the ceremony and refused to walk down the aisle.
This is the first step that a couple should do when they are considering a child to be their flower girl or wedding bearer. They will first need to ask permission from the parents if it is okay for their child to be part of the ceremony. Then they also need to discuss with them if the child can do the role and what they can do to help the child be at ease during the ceremony. One of the parents, if not both of them, will likely know whether the child is up to the task or not. They would also be able to understand what can be done to help control the child during the ceremony.
Once the couple already has permission from the parents, they can talk to the child to see how they would react. If the kid is excited to be a flower girl or wedding bearer, then chances are there won’t be much problem during the actual ceremony. But if the kid is hesitant, then it might mean that they don’t want to do it, or they are scared. In this case, the couple can get the help of the parents to see if the child is scared of he or she doesn’t want to do it. If they’re afraid, then the couple should try to talk to the child to ease their fear. If they don’t want to do it, then it is best to look for another child.
Giving plenty of practice time to the child will help when it is time for him or her to walk down the aisle as a wedding bearer or a flower girl. It also helps that during the practice sessions, the child is given plenty of praise, as this will help him or her to become more comfortable with the role. If the practice sessions have been good, it will be easier for the child to be comfortable with the role during the ceremony. If the couple already has the music for the ceremony, give a copy to the parents so their child can practice at home and get used to the music. Hearing the music over and over can also help the child focus and know that when the music starts, it is time for them to walk.
Another thing the couple and the coordinator can do is to give the child something to do while walking down the aisle. It can be throwing petals while walking, holding a sign up, waving a wand, and so on.
Giving the child a task to do than just walking will help them focus on it instead of being too conscious about the different eyes that are looking at them. The task could be even fun for them, so they could also get to enjoy the moment.
If flower girl and wedding bearer are having a hard time walking on their own, then the coordinator can let them walk together. The kids might feel comfortable wandering if they are in pairs, especially if they are comfortable with each other already. Letting them walk together will also make them feel that the focus is not only on them alone but to the two of them. It will also look cuter if two children are walking together, especially if they are holding hands.
Photo by: Danie Baron Designs
Usually, a child has a unique toy or item that they would like to hold on to whenever they are in an uncomfortable situation. So allowing them to walk down the aisle with their unique item will help make them feel more comfortable and walk down the aisle without much problem. Sometimes a child needs something to help make them feel confident; it can be their stuffed animal, a blanket, a sunglasses, and so on. So let them have that item to help give them confidence.
A child usually loves getting gifts, so providing them with a gift, either before they walk down the aisle or at the end of their walk could be enough to convince them to walk. The gift could be their favorite treat or a favorite toy. The couple can have one of the parents wait at the end of the aisle with the toy or treat, so the flower girl or wedding bearer will walk down the aisle and go to them.
To avoid the kid suddenly falling asleep before the ceremony, it is essential that the kid has already finished his or her nap. It is also vital to make sure that they’re already fed and has finished with their toilet business.
This is to ensure that the flower girl and wedding bearer is as comfortable as possible. This also provides that they will be on-schedule during the ceremony, so the kid suddenly falling asleep or throwing tantrums because they are hungry can be avoided.
Sometimes the child just won’t walk without being accompanied by a parent, so it’s crucial for one of the parents of the child to be on standby. This is to ensure that when the child looks for his or her parent before walking, they will be ready just in case.
Once the ceremony is done and the flower girl was able to perform her duties, then it is essential for the couple to take time to thank and praise the child. This will make the child feel appreciated for doing something right. A hug, a kiss on the cheek, or even just a high five (for wedding bearers) will be enough to show the child how appreciative the couple is for what he or she has done.
Lastly, it is crucial for the couple not to let the child walk down the aisle if they suddenly don’t want to at the very last minute. This could be traumatic for the child, especially if they are forced to do it against their will. The couple should still thank them for trying and don’t take it against the child or the parents.